Need to get some thoughts out of my head so I can think about them, it's all good stuff, no complaining, but it is rambley.
I've realized something in the past week or so... I've reached a new point in what I know about knitting, my confidence in what I can do with two pointy sticks and some yarn and what I'm willing to try, mess up, and fix.
I'm making my mom a present. It has a lace-type panel in the center and at one point I forgot what I was doing, looked at the stitches that I had just knit, the row below it, and read the stitches correctly!!! I knew what they all looked like, and was able to figure out where I had gone wrong and found my place again. I'm sure that I've been doing this for a while, but actually realizing that I can read stitches was amazing. It is a huge boost of confidence to know what I can do.
Then we went to the book store, specifically to buy a book ( not just browsing!), probably on knitting, and I realized that none of the books that this store had were any that I needed anymore. I can work out my own patterns, I look at what people are wearing, have knitted, sewn, and go home, figure out how to make it fit me best, change this and that and make it... this new realized freedom from patterns was exciting, but at the same time I was left feeling a bit ... sad... I'm the type of person who just can't buy stuff to buy it, I have to use it. ( so i can buy yarn and fabric without knowing what i will do with it, but knowing that i can make something with it means i can buy it, heehee). So this kind of meant that I don't need books anymore. At least not pattern books. Now I need reference books, full of images that are inspiring, that don't necessarily have directions in it, well, except for techniques... but even then I like figuring them out on my own and tend to refuse to look it up until I'm ready to scream.
Anyways. Lots of good things to figure out, lots of good things are happening in my life. I can feel things falling back into balance and I have to say, its kind of exhausting getting back on track. :) I can't complain. I just got a job at a local yarn store and i can't wait to see what will happen then! I'm selling my buttons, going to start seriously pounding pavement to get my other art out there, and I have met so many amazing fiber people already, I am thrilled to pieces. I am a lucky, lucky thing.